|"Smile, dear God, for the love of Christ smile."|
At the risk of potentially getting a cease and desist letter from Tosh.0 lawyers, "let's see how many jokes we can make in 30 seconds."
"I guess her boyfriend did mind it."
|"Alright, this facade is getting a little difficult to keep up."|
"If two obscenely wealthy celebrities with private jets can't make a bi-continental relationship, what hope is there for the rest of us?"
"I guess he got tired of her spraying her whipped cream boobs all over other guys."
"Being a recovering addict must be so hard when your wife acts like a stoned high schooler and looks like an acid trip you went on while playing Candyland."
"This is a major blow to inter-Muppet marriage equality."
"I always figured being that outlandish on camera, Katy Perry must be horrible in the sac. Turns out she's too stodgy even for and Englishman."
"I wonder if they're also getting divorced inside a tiger sanctuary."
|"Yeah, okay, that's about how we feel too."|