On Puzzles

I've wanted to break out my old 500 piece holographic Star Wars theatrical poster puzzles for a few months now, but I just never got around to it.

I tend to collect puzzles. Fidgets. Brain teasers. Anything that can occupy my brain for a few minutes to either distract myself from one problem to let my subconscious work on it, or distract myself AND MAKE THE VOICES STOP.

Alright, I embellish. Mostly, it's just own voice, telling me I'm awful and ruin everything. However it is much easier to shut that voice up when you have to assemble a 1500 piece jigsaw of a Faerie wedding my roommate's friend rolled out after starting it two years ago.

Looking at my bookshelf now, I can see two 3D puzzle cubes, a secret-compartment cube, a collection of Klix chains, nanodots, a Rubik's Cube, some wooden box made of I think 18 logs, a teal pyramid thing, a Rubik's Cube with all the colors reduced to black, a numerical slider game, and a couple puzzle balls. Then juggling bean bags, dice, and an unnecessary number of credentials. Really, anything to keep my mind occupied procrastinate.

I basically sat down with a Sam Adams and worked on this giant monstrosity through all of "I Love you, Man" of cable and an episode of Daniel Tosh after that. Really, if I didn't need to have a human sleep schedule I'd probably sit at that thing for a few hours more. Hopefully, when they go to roll up the current progress, my roommate is aghast at how much I did in only a couple hours.

In an impressed way, not in a "We should really get him some help," sort of way.

Katy Perry and Russel Brand to Divorce

"Smile, dear God, for the love of Christ smile."

Well there goes one of Hollywood's favorite odd-ball couples.

At the risk of potentially getting a cease and desist letter from Tosh.0 lawyers, "let's see how many jokes we can make in 30 seconds."


"I guess her boyfriend did mind it."

"Alright, this facade is getting a little difficult to keep up."

"Why would anyone ever want to divorce a person whose head is made of cotton candy?"

"If two obscenely wealthy celebrities with private jets can't make a bi-continental relationship, what hope is there for the rest of us?"

"I guess he got tired of her spraying her whipped cream boobs all over other guys."

"Being a recovering addict must be so hard when your wife acts like a stoned high schooler and looks like an acid trip you went on while playing Candyland."

"This is a major blow to inter-Muppet marriage equality."

"I always figured being that outlandish on camera, Katy Perry must be horrible in the sac. Turns out she's too stodgy even for and Englishman."

"I wonder if they're also getting divorced inside a tiger sanctuary."

"Yeah, okay, that's about how we feel too."