On eBay

This look was dubbed "Blue Steele." Grandma didn't get it.

When normal people are strapped for cash, they tend to do normal things, such as "Get A Job," and "Sell Drugs."

When I'm strapped for cash, I go into my grandma's attic and find pieces of my childhood that were boxed away in The Big Move and sell them on eBay.

As far as profitability goes, you'd be surprised how little a childhood fetches on eBay.

I mean, a Happy Childhood would be a couple grand, easy, but more often than not you've opened and torn the packaging, because, hey, you were a kid and you weren't thinking about resale value, you just wanted to get in and get those sticker decals applied so you could fly around the room and shoot Bad Guys.

On Desperation

Gizmodo keeps teasing me by posting the exact job I want and calling it an "Internship," which has become contemporary parlance for "Do it but we don't pay you."

Then they have the nerve to post along side that an even cooler job I might have to work harder at to do more but actually get paid and feel accomplished at, but they demand five years experience doing effectively that job somewhere else.

So I have to go back to the only job I do have five years experience at.

No, not selling children's clothes; I'm pretty sure when you take my seasonal work into consideration, I've only got about 2.5 years in that, maximum.

No, I'm back to odd jobs, penny pinching and eBaying my childhood. Wonderful.

Honestly, it feels great to clean out obsessively collected memories while earning some scratch, but the joy of waking up one day to see $27 was made overnight is kind of a bummer when you remember that it took a week. Right now I'm making about 20¢ a day.

… I'm thinking of moving to China and becoming a small boy in a Nike factory.