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- Forty-eight years and a couple billion dollars to dredge up the mass equivalent of a chocolate chip in a fondue field.
- It's only a matter of time before Star Trek starts mentioning "Higgs Field Disruptor Drives" as a means of Faster-Than-Light travel, removing mass to propel a ship faster. That's … not so much a joke as a plea to Jonathan Frakes to avoid the issue.
- Apparently your mother's so fat because she's been eating raw Higgs in a blanket all these years.
- The Higgs boson is a miniscule yet highly massive particle that is not a pregnant Snooki.
- Someone at CERN's going to win the Nobel for this, but if you ask anyone at Tevatron, they couldn't give two gigaelectronvolts.
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