The Dark Knight Rises | SPOILER FREE Easter Eggs!

Who the hell nails a cup to the side of a building??

*The following contain no spoilers whatsoever.*

• First and foremost: NO POST-CREDITS SCENE. Nolan don't play that game. You get a Bat insignia made out of something at the start, and a simple title card at the end. So, relax. Head out and hit the bathroom with confidence.

• Listen for a police officer's joke about a "giant alligator" in the sewers.

• Holly Robinson gets a couple scenes. And yes, she does appear to be rather young and of questionable character. And yes, she appears to also have some sort of off-putingly close, Saphic relationship in one of those scenes.

That's really about it. I can recall laughing a single "Ha!" a couple times at certain bits, but–frankly–they're all kind of centered around plot elements. Overall review: excellent. A three act play, as with the others, with multiple perspectives meeting at the head, same as the others. Unlike other failed trilogies, this one has a sense of being "closed." I won't say 'ending,' but the story we've had these past few years feels wrapped up without ending the whole universe–I'm looking at you Matrix Revolutions.


Oh, and actually, Alfred died in the jungle hunting that bandit he mentioned in Batman Begins and this has all been his last fevered dream. At the end Leonardo DiCaprio walks out and says, "That was fucked."

THE END

The Dark Knight Rises … In My Pants

So today I will be viewing Christopher Nolan's entire Dark Knight series starting at 6:30 p.m.

The funny thing is my ticket came with a free "Dark Knight Corn," a small popcorn exclusive to this marathon. Why didn't they just go ahead and call it "Bat-Corn?" Is Nolan's trilogy too dark to engage in self-referential metahumor? Even out of continuity?

You could top in with Bat-Butter (milked from the winged mammals?) and Bat-Salts (Joker may be faceless now, but the rest of us need not be). Store it in the Bat Cave's Bat-Fridge, next to the Bat Shark Repellent.

I'll have my traditional no-spoiler Easter Egg post some time around 3 a.m., but I'm confident it'll read something to the effect of "It was awesome, go see it now. Twice."

You know, so long as they don't end up revealing Bruce actually died as a kid and this has all been the delusions of his vengeance-racked father of grief-stricken, homicidal mother.