On Having Connections

Last night at a bar I ran into a guy I went to high school with. And middle school. And elementary school. Pretty sure kindergarten too. The point is I've known him for a long time, but the only time we ever see each other is at this particular bar. We played a quick game of catch-up. He asked if I was working, I asked what he was up to. Turns out he's in grad school, becoming a physical therapist. He even offered me free physical therapy for life.



So, you know, I got that going for me. Now we just gotta find a way to get me horribly maimed. With my friends? Shouldn't be too hard.

Things Which Are Only Appropriate to Say In Bed Or While Working Out

Things Which Are Only Appropriate to Say In Bed Or While Working Out:

• "You really want to feel this."
  
  
• "Feel how tight that is."
  
• "Put your hands under your buttocks."
  
  
• "Both legs up in the air … that's it!"
  
  
• "None of these moves will hurt you if you do them right."
  
  
• "It's only eight minutes a day!"
  
  and I'm almost afraid to say it, but:
  
  
• "Do you feel the burn?!"