Leading Questions Better Left Unasked: Honda

I saw a commercial for the Honda Civic tonight. Twice. It showed a Toyota dealer talking up all the buttons in a Toyota, although none of them were an analogue to Honda's apparently proprietary "Econ" button.

Just switch it on and save on gas mileage.





What?

You mean there's a button on my car, and if I press it it will save me money on gas.

You assholes. Why would you even make that a button? Why not make it a default part of the car? If I can have my car automatically adjust its performance to improve energy efficiency, wouldn't I want that on always?

Is this like "OverDrive" again? Is it just another thing no one has any comprehension of and should just leave on constantly? Is there, like, that one strange scenario where I need to tow a raft full of orphaned Boy Scouts and three-legged puppies to safety before they tumble over the side of a sheer cliff face where I should turn that feature off? Because I really can't imagine a situation where I would want more inefficient gas mileage.

Is that the trick? I have to know how and when to switch the button on? And if I screw it up, I'm really not getting the most out of my car, am I?

But then again, we couldn't give the job of making that decision over to the car's computer, could we? Not and risk the inevitable outcome of Judgement Day.

The Honda Civic: because fuck Skynet.

On Frickin' Laser Beams

One of the laser printers at work has been acting up recently. A Clean sheet of labels goes in, then it comes out all stripy. Never mind for a second that I'm printing barcode labels, there are extra lines and splotches everywhere.

How is no one concerned by this?

It's a laser and it's not working properly. It is literally burning the page at random intervals and varying intensities and it thinks it's doing just fine.

Why? Why is no one worried about this. It's a misfiring laser beam. We arrest 14 year-olds for aiming a cheap pointer at blimps, but the malfunctioning laser robot doesn't raise an eyebrow. This was how Skynet took over, people. In, like, at least one of those timelines.

The point is, people, I'm never going to be able to take over an office with a malfunctioning laser printer, let alone the world.

To quote a great scientist, "The status is not quo."

Fucking. Dammit.