On Dreams XIV: Nobody Likes You, Everybody Hates You

Man, last night was nothing but annoying, aggravating dreams.

I dreamt of going shopping in a giant, unfamiliar mall with my mother, aunt, and grandmother, my aunt already lagging behind and my grandmother weighing down my mom and angrily bitching about some thing out of anyone's control.

I turned around to tell her that if she slowed me down, if she separated my mother from our mutual tasks, or if she interrupted me even once to complain about anything else, I would continue walking and leave her to do my own thing.

And she fucking interrupted me.


Then I dream about getting trapped in a mall, one hour late for work already due to Daylight Savings shifts, the escalators are an elaborate labyrinth designed to madden and infuriate, and only one random friend has any sympathy for me, but all I can think about is asking him about stir-fry. (Kessel's the man, actually.)

Finally, I wake up with a massive headache and a stiff neck, still feeling tired, and find out I have to make time to load my grandmother's old and new computers into her car so she can get her computer repair man to transfer all her old files and settings to the new machine, because she doesn't want to inconvenience me since I work so much. Yup. That grandma, too.

I swear to the technogods, I'm shooting for a hell of a good time at work today, because otherwise I might really start going Black Friday and trampling old people a a little early this year.

'Fuck' - A Critical Deconstruction

 I wrote this on a napkin on my lunch break when I was maybe 20:

Sitting in the food court, I wondered, "Would they really throw me out of the mall if I were to shout 'Fuck!' at the top of my lungs? I mean, I work here." And at first I thought, "Yes, they would," but I asked myself why. I had, for the moment, entirely forgotten why one would not say ‘fuck’ in public.

I ran a simulation in my head: If I shouted "Fuck!" and no one did anything, then the adorable little girl walking past me could say "Fuck!" and I knew this to be funny and wrong, but I still couldn’t remember why.

I idly thought the word to myself, how everyone says it, how if everyone uses it–most often without any meaning–how then could such a word be bad? I thought the word again, and in one golden moment it was entirely without meaning or power, and everything made sense. I had deconstructed the word and removed its center, separating signifier and signified.

Then I imagined a 19 year-old brunette, mid-coitus exclaiming, “Fuck my fucking cunt!” and reality snapped back into place, and ‘fuck’ was dirty again.

On the upside, that brunette had a fabulous body.

Arguments I Will Never Win and Why

Arguments I Will Never Win and Why:

WHAT: There are too many fitness articles written about losing fat and too few about gaining muscle without becoming a complete creatine d-bag.
WHY I WILL ALWAYS LOSE: I live in America, not Europe.

WHAT: Do what you love, everything else will fall into place.
WHY: I'm white and my mother pays my rent.

WHAT: There is nothing wrong with gay marriage; sexuality is a spectrum and we should respect the expression of natural rights by every human being.
WHY: I'm straight.

WHAT: Modern feminism almost exclusively replaces equality through shared human experience added to purely feminine viewpoints with inverted ideals and roles for what is abstractly considered to be prototypically masculine, furthering the original misconceptions of traditional gender-performance roles as diametrically opposed binaries.
WHY: I have a penis.

I think this might be a photoshopping of a Lichtenstein print, or at least comics from the same era as the ones he based his work off of. Neat!