Things Charlie Sheen Might Actually Be On:
- Drugs
- Twitter, denying that he is on drugs
- Methadone, to stop being on drugs
- Either "The Ball" or "Top of His Game," since apparently he is constantly winning
- Network news at least once every 48 minutes
- Par with his brother, Emilo Estevez's character Gordon Bombay in the opening scenes of The Mighty Ducks where he gets pulled over for a DUI.
- Top of Old Smokey, if "Old Smoky" is the name of his crack pipe.
- A hooker/porn actress, depending on if there's a camera present
- And off again with drugs
- (A) horse
- Mood stabilizers
- -omatopoeia
- Tiger blood
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| Charlie Sheen's father Martin Sheen once couldn't get on an airplane because his driver's license still reads "Martino Estevez." |
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