Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Something for Everyone

Here is a sex toy for white boys who want to tap J-Lo's tremendous and insured ass. Sure, it's a thin bag of plastic with jagged seams and eyebrows made with a Sharpie, but it is married to Enrique Iglesias.

Still, somewhere there's a person this thing is based on, so I guess THE POWER OF IMAGINATION is enough to get someone through those seventeen seconds of awkward thrusting before they or the doll pop.

Here is a sex toy designed for people so lonely they have passed beyond the realm of desiring compliant lovers, into the realm of fanboyish obsession for lovers so compliant they are fictional. Not just in that, "I know she's not real but her vagina is totally molded to be just like her!" sort of way. No, here we're talking "I know she's not real and that's the point." I can understand some level of attraction for a specific character, something emotionally dynamic and well known, but this is a soulless, storyless cum dump for overweight and out-of-work post-grads who mooch off their parents, the hikikomori of Japan come to mind.

This one I totally get.

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