Scopolamine: The Most Terrifying Zombie Drug Ever

If you don't have the stomach to sit through the whole video, skip to the last five minutes after reading this:

It's a roofie. Except you're completely conscious and appear normal, but completely susceptible to any suggestion. You will empty your bank accounts, wallet, apartment, anything they ask you. Then the next day, you remember nothing.

Now watch the last 5 minutes with that nice motivational/cautionary speaker. Let him become the most pants-wettingly horrific gangster you've seen since before you realized Scarface was just a movie.

Okay?

Now here's a question: What if this drug just made you really, really generous?

What if there was a drug that gave you a terrific sense of ecstasy and brotherhood with all things, but more than that instilled in you the impetus to actually do something about the inequality and poverty and dearth of good will in the world, and you just of your own volition gave away everything you realized you didn't have an immediate need for?

ALT Text: "Yeah, it's pretty much
the worst, cats and kittens!"
I hope Ryan North doesn't sue me.
He's a pretty cool guy with Fair
Use. I just wrote stuff that sounded
like it needed to come out of
T-Rex's face. Wow, that's long ALT.

Just, like, ignore the parts where people get beaten and raped and die.

The world would be a pretty alright place if we had all that without the last part, huh?

But that last part's pretty bad.

Amy Winehouse Is Now Immortal

Say what you want about her vocal inflections, substance abuse, or orthodonture, Amy Winehouse made sure to die tragically young, and every loves tortured artists who die before their time.

What's more, if Winehouse had the choice of when to go out early, she really couldn't have picked a better opportunity; she snuck in 6 weeks under the wire and ensured her place in The 27 Club.

The "27 Club" is a collection of the super-famous, typically exclusively detailing great musicians, who all coincidentally died at age 27. Prominent members include Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain, Brian Jones of the Rolling Stones, Dave Alexander of The Stooges, The Grateful Dead's "Pigpen," and a "statistical spike" of other musicians from multiple backgrounds and genres.

The Lord did not end up buying her a Mercedes Benz.
However, she did get a pretty sweet Porsche.

 Also, Spike Spiegel from anime Cowboy Bebop, but he's A) fictional, B) was designed to be 27, and C) isn't definitively dead because fans love the ambiguity.

"Bang."

Amy Winehouse now gets to be tragic and young and remarkable forever. She will never tour as a washed-up Brit pushing her pathetic wanker of a 7th album. She will never appear in tabloids looking hideous or being criticized for not losing her baby weight two weeks after giving birth. She will never even crack under the pressure of her own success and stringent personal motivations. No critic will ever have an opportunity to deplore her later works as lesser than her early career. She will never fade away.

Amy Winehouse gets to be canonized into Rock Sainthood.