We Are the 1%

Their Name Is Jonas

They have an "autographed" picture of Nick Jonas hanging in the back room at work. I wanted to mock it one day. This is what my brain immediately came up with, and I instantly regretted not living in the one universe among the infinite where Disney takes risks and pays for music rights and is just generally more awesome than it is here.


*Note: Video is blocked in Germany due to international copyright restrictions. To my Deutch readers, sorry, and I hope you can proxy.

Creepy Thought of the Day

Have you ever stared down a fish?

I don't just mean get into a contest over something stupid, I mean looked down through a fish.

You can see into it. Look down a fish's mouth, and it goes all the way back. It opens it's mouth and you just see a cavernous salmon-colored maw. At some point you know it has to hit a stomach, but you never see that, you just see what is, presumably, the back of the fish.

There's a reason I don't eat seafood. And that's that I can't stand the smell. But also fish are creepy.

If Carly Simon Had the Internet in 1971

 




And then she'd tell everyone to stop commenting on her private feelings, but leave all the posts as "Public."

I'm sure she'd also post a scathing private entry on Xenga, then Tumble a few dozen sepia photographs of passive-aggressive, sad, couple-y stuff.

On Cable Television

Probably the best cable box replacement for your buck.
Love this little guy.

I'm trying to cut back on watching cable television. I was out of the game for a while, and then I discovered The Hub, which, late at night, is pretty much every badass cartoon show I watched from ages five to fourteen. It's a better way to fall asleep, even compared to dozing off to Food Network, dreaming only of eating bacon and beef.

See, I'm in the process of moving, and one of the easiest ways I can save money is to not pay out the colon for cable T.V. I'm not going to watch, except for a few hours a night and maybe one weekend day. Frankly, that's why I have internet.

Fiscal Planning Blog!

There is no reason to have cable T.V. A family splitting streaming-only Netflix and Hulu+ pays $15/mo. for a ton of movies and 90% of cable television, with backlog. I watched ExoSquad for god's sake. And you can get it on your T.V., your computer, or your phone/tablet. I'm tossing in Amazon Prime, and now I can rent/stream damn near anything for free or cheap, for only $39. (Amazon Student gives you free shipping but not streaming for a year, however it discounts the normally $79 Prime membership after that for up to three more years.)

So, basically, the only thing I can't watch is HBO, which my family never had anyway.

Oh, and of course there's still the wonderful Bangladeshi black market that is the Internet when I'm otherwise out of luck.

Oh, where will I get my local news?? I live outside New York. My local news is FOX 5. If I'm worried about the weather I'll look outside, check to see if I have a sinus headache, and maybe go to the local radio's website. I get my news from the BBC, tech blogs, and Jon Fucking Stewart.

The important part of the blog:

Not including my DVDs an Blu-Ray, I now have about four different ways to watch Firefly.


"You can't stop the signal, Mal."

World Wildlife Fund is Missing a Golden Opportunity

I can't stand commercials for dying tigers or beaten puppies, and I don't think anyone else can either.

It doesn't spur me towards giving money to save these animals, if you'll pardon the horse-abuse vernacular. What I think should be done, in an attempt to actually save animals, is switch the W.W.F. and other quadruped charity organizations to an app-style business model.

Saving animals should be subscription based.

Let's get one thing straight: I do not mean the type of "Hey! We saw you donated last year, so how about doubling your contribution this year! No?? Well then how about the same? After all, we know you don't want to go back to letting innocent [fuzzy baby somethings] get [horribly mistreated and/or murdered] right?" Insert elbow jab there.

You should get something for donating your time and effort, and not just a tiger tote bag or the satisfaction of donating to a charity that may or may not put actual donation proceeds towards the cause de nome.

When you donate to save the animals, you shouldn't have to see another commercial about it for 6 months.

You put down $50 to artificially inseminate pandas? Awesome. You don't have to see scratched up and beaten pit bulls on T.V. unless you turn on Animal Cops, and your a masochistic bastard if you do anyway.

$100? You just earned yourself a year of abuse-free animals. You won't see anything worse than Jake Busch pushing baked beans and old Alf reruns until mid-2013.

And for $250, you won't even have to listen to Sarah McLachlan. Ever. We'll make sure of it.

Walkward

Walkward - adj. That awkward moment when you suddenly realize you are walking the exact same way as the person you just said goodbye to.