Selena Gomez: Some Kind of Mexican?

Anyone else noticing Selena Gomez is looking
more and more like Jenni "J-Woww" Farley?
Who's looking forward to the fake boobs?

Apparently local primary schools are requiring students to report on biographies, men for the boys and women for the girls. I was informed today that this particular school district also comprises a significant Mexican/Latino population.

It seems this cultural leaning has resulted in Selena Gomez being a popular choice among the girls, "because Selena's half Mexican or something."

"No she's not," I responded.

"Well, her dad was. Is? She's Mexican."

"No. She's rich."

"Ha. No, but really–"

"Nope. Rich. Whatever she was, she's white now."

And I felt I was pushing my luck with that comment, despite the chuckle it elicited, but unless she and Justin Bieber are part of the Jonas Brothers' abstinence cadre, she's also technically a statutory rapist in the state of California.

Then again, if I was 18, dating a 17 year old, and we collectively had about a billion dollars, I'd just fly us to a state more amiable to teen-on-teen dry humping.

Violent Madonna Stalker Escapes By Walking Away

"Violent Madonna Stalker" Robert Dewey Hoskins Hoskins will never be a serial killer, as he has one-too-many names. Also, he just escaped from a mental facility where he was undergoing treatment for his incredibly violent psychotic tendencies, following a ten-year stint in prison for stalking Madonna.

My guess is after seeing her superbowl performance he plans on going home, making a life for himself, and starting an inappropriate obsession over Selena Gomez instead.