Tuesday, September 15, 2009

This Has Nothing to Do with Kanye West

Proof some music is best left without visuals.

So did you guys see the VMAs the other night?

Yeah, me neither.

I just sort of woke up and found out some shit went down between an urban musician I don't listen to and a rural musician I don't listen to. In theory I probably should try and get something topical in while I can. Let everybody know I'm totally up on and appalled by this type of behavior, otherwise how will they know I'm aloof but down-to-earth?

Well I'm aloof enough as it is. I'm more awesome than you. There, I said it. Also, I have a pitiful social life and massive interpersonal issues. There, now I'm humbled and humanized. I did not need any help with that. I have the internet at my disposal.

So seriously, what's up with Video Music Awards?

I'm all for mixed-medium performance art but I gotta be honest, when I want to listen to music I'm usually in the car or reading or online or doing work or not paying attention. Often it's a combination of these things as I overly multitask as a result of having a very short attention span and a multitude of thoughts buzzing through my head like a hive of bees careening off the walls of a water slide down on Route 9 called Splashdown! which we passed the other day and GOD it really sucks but every time you go you think it's going to be better and it's not it's just the same every time and you leave cold and damp because there's nowhere to change into dry clothes and it's such a pain in the ass JESUS FUCK SHIT ASS.

Anyway, yeah, when I want to listen to music I generally want to be listening. It's cool that you hired a dude to write a little movie around your song but most of the time you have no idea what the story is, if anyone ever did.

It's cool! Really! I harbor you no ill will! Your antics on boats and in front of horse corals while expressing your open-ended desires or disregard for the opposite sex and the many problems that result from a close personal relationship give hope to millions of high schoolers who have not yet their own voices and so must cobble together their thoughts and feelings on the world and its people from bits and pieces of your lyrics.

You have a purpose.

But please, please remember that MTV is older than VH1 and beginning to show it's age. It manufactures artist and interest by rousing younger viewers with off-handed slights at its programming for older viewers. It is perfectly acceptable to watch a marathon of The Hills or Made: I Was A Teenage Hosebag, just turn it off when you start caring about the human beings creating the train wreck.

Music videos are cool and all, and yeah, if you have a party go ahead and stick the T.V. on a music channel for a little added sensory stimulation. You can even buy an album if you like the music you illegally downloaded enough.


Please, turn it off when they start giving awards based on anything other than sales and/or musical talent.

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