Thursday, September 3, 2009

On NeoPets and christianity

[VagDestroyer living up to his name. This is the little blue thing I had.]

Last night I was informed that today's blog post should be my rant about how NeoPets are anti-Christian.

Since I would run out into a busy street for the person who suggested this, I kind of have to. Thus, here is the exact conversation we originally had when I first suggested the Bruce the Penguin/Lucifer connection:

Me: … But a NeoPet is not sacrilegious in any way. WAIT. IT IS!! Neopets are an abomination against God in like 8 different ways!

Jo: Go.

Me: 1) They were not created by god.
2) They evolve online and become different.
3) They're modeled after mythical beasts and demons.
4) Children worship them more than church.
5) You create them yourself, literally playing God to create these abominations.

Jo: Only 5 so far, but yeah you're right.

Me: Ummmm … can your NeoPets marry other pets?

Jo: I don't think so.

Me: Oh, 6) they cannot die. WITCHCRAFT AND SORCERY.
YOU PLAY ON FRIDAYS/SUNDAYS. They work on the sabbath. Huh, apparently 8 + ) [in iChat] equals cool smiley guy. MORE BLASPHEMY!

Jo: All the children who play NeoPets are going to hell.

Me: Yup.

Jo: That's so sad, they don't even know.

Me: Oh, they know Tthey just do not care. THEY DON'T GIVE A DAMN FOR THE LORD. THEY HAVE WASTED THEIR LIVES IN SIN AND MISERY … in the houseee of the rii-hii-zin' sun!!!

So yes, NeoPets are an abomination unto the Lord. As Jew, honestly I'd typically root for them. They're the underdog here. I'd root for them and the New York Mets.

Unfortunately, the reason I was commanded to blog on this topic tonight is that Jo has recently come to learn that the creator of NeoPets is apparently a scientologist. Now I'm not really sure who to side with. On the one hand is organized Christianity which I am not exactly a fan of, but on the other is the systematic embodiment of every reason I hate organized religion to begin with.

Since you my have noted (okay, you didn't but it's totally there, go back and check) I did not capitalize "scientologist" as I did "Jew" and "Christianity," I think you'll find my position clearly demarked.

That's really it. I'm letting this one speak for itself. I'll just add that yes, I signed up for an account, named my little blue thing "VagDestroyer" because that was the only thing that got past the dirty word detector, checked out the games and then said "Screw this noise," before giving away all my stuff and points to Jo, and having her adopt Vag Destroyer. Promises and alimony were exchanged, and a week later VagDestroyer had been abandoned to the dark recesses of the NeoPound. AND I FEEL NOTHING FOR HIM.

Now go expel your thetans.

1 comment :

  1. This is something wrong with you... really.


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