Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Greeting Cards for Exes

I freakin wish Mila Kunis was my ex. Except I'd never want to
screw that up. Maybe that's why we fail, I
love too much.
Anyway, I saw "Friends With Benefits" last night and it was
amazing. No lie. Go see it.
I'm thinking of starting a line of cutesie greeting cards for exes, suitable for circumstances generally considered to awkward for audible comment.

The Getting Back in Touch:
 "Hey! How's your vagina?"
The Request:
"Hey, Dickbag, can I have my TV back?"
The "How's Your Family":
 "Is your sister still available?"
The Reacquainting:
"Heeeeeeyyyyyy … Guy!"
The Apology:
"I'm sorry I [broke/lost/killed/slept with/like that one really specific thing when we were in] your [possession/pet/relative/bedroom]. Please don't tell anybody."

I was also considering "The Get the Hell Away from Me," but that's pretty much what a restraining order is for, and I mean who really takes those seriously?

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