Thursday, January 31, 2013

Adulthood Means Never Having to Say, "Don't Tell Mom."

A friend who moved to Colorado posted photos to Facebook of her shooting off a couple pistols in the mountains. This same friend is about 5'0" and a hundred pounds shopping wet with a backpack. And loves hellos kitty.

Meanwhile, in my neck of the woods, my buddy Jay and I started coming up with rules because I mentioned that now that we're adults, I'd rather like to play a big game of "Assassination" with our friends and high powered Nerf guns.

Because we're old enough to really make a go at this, damn it.


Start as team. Automatic alliances drawn from a hat, one trade per team by majority vote. When you're down to say a dozen, part ways and begin solo operations the following morning.

Ground Rules:

1. No operations my be attempted while target is at their place of legitimate business.

I say "legitimate" because online gambling and dealing weed do not constitute professional environments.

2. A weapon may not be fired from a moving vehicle, or within 30 seconds of the target having exited a moving vehicle.

This rules out for safety's sake and fairness drive-bys and ambushing marks while still technically in transit between work and home. You wanna stop for the mail when you get home? Hope you're a sprinter.

Guideline: Use Velcro darts. That just clears up 80% of arguments.

On a related note, mod the hell out of any weapon you like, so long as you don't mod the foam. No ball bearings, no needles or stickum, just darts. You wanna stretch a spring or yank out an air restrictor or supercharge the autofire motor? Knock yourself out.

Or your target. That's acceptable too, long as there's foam sticking off of them.

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