Monday, February 4, 2013

Who Guards the Lifeguards?

A coworker said her sister had to go to lifeguard training. A question coalesced then in my mind:

Is there a lifeguard on duty needed during lifeguard training?

Now, it seems like, if there are people in the pool, there must be a lifeguard. However, if there were ever a group of individuals exempt from a lifeguard, it would be other lifeguards and lifeguards being trained.

Still, they're not lifeguards yet, so perhaps they do, at least legally, require a lifeguard. Does that include the lifeguard training lifeguards, I wonder? Might that teaching lifeguard serve to guard the lives of those who would themselves guard lives? Certainly if one were to improperly attempt guarding life, it could result in peril that may in itself require life saving action. Is this then an at-risk group? Like unsupervised toddlers and the elderly?

If they are utilized, then, is guarding future lifeguards a punishment for ne'er-do-well lifeguards? Those guards who slacked off of their guarding whilst continuing life? I would imagine it would lie somewhere between aquarobics and free-swim on the scale of "Why Do I Have To Be Here?"

And at what point do you receive your nose zinc and license to roll all sleeves up into tank tops? Is that part of the mortarboard and tassel thing, or is their a seminar for that as well?

"Yeah, baby, you know you want this."

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