Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Jury Duty: Day 2

Well, it's all over, though they gave me a run for it.

Without giving away more than just slightly too much, the case involved multiple charges including assault with a machete and attempted murder from an alleged shooting. Fun stuff.

During voir dire I had to mention that my uncle (of sorts) was a career cop in the jurisdiction in question, my great-uncle worked vice in the '60s, my friends have all been charged/accused of many crimes and one is currently awaiting trial, as well as the fact that my very distant uncle was convicted of STABBING HIS FIRST WIFE TO DEATH. So yeah, some conflicts there, but not the kind that would really affect me, because I'm too awesome.

Ironically, of the 50-some-odd people in the jury pool for this case, of the 18 selected for the first round of voir dire there were about 4 or 5 lawyers, a cop, a law student and a civics student. Additionally, pretty much everyone else had a direct close relationship to law enforcement officials of some kind. We're talking best friend of the Police Commissioner's daughter, spouses, spouses and children. Oh, and did I mention that apparently theft, auto theft, rape and murder are all incredibly common occurrences, resulting in strong individuals who do not let it conflict with their judgment?

Yeah, it seems so but the courts apparently don't like that. Of the 18 prospective jurors already on the panel, 5 were excused for legitimate personal/time conflicts (Law Student Boy is moving to Miami for Law school this Sunday, for example). Of the remaining 13 people, 9 of us were excused for being too awesome, this includes the cop, all the remaining lawyers, myself and this cute girl who just graduated Vassar, as we were both Phi Beta Kappa and therefore far too smart to be useful as jurors.

In reference to yesterday's post, Super Foxy Lady Cop was back again today! As I tweeted, upon closer inspection of her severe hotness I've determined she looks like a mid-20s version of Selina Gomez, whom I previously hated on principle of Disney abusing the idea of child actress/singers to often, but whom I now know I will have funny feelings for once she turns 18.

On a related note, Cute Vassar Girl was quite cute, but beboyfriended, however another girl looked very similar but far hotter in a 'I only date jocks because I'm kind of a shallow bitch but you know I look fucking amazing naked and I will drive you unconscious in bed' sort of way. Yeah, she wore some very thin white cotton pants which made very plain the exact cut of her underpants (cute panty, not granny but not boy-cut – yes I noted this). On special note, I would like to point out that the panty line created by the previously mentioned unmentionables revealed a quite possible "bootylicious" ass the likes of which I have not seen in at least 3 web pages. It was exquisite. I might have caught an old man staring at it. I do not blame him. I only wish Ass Girl had seen it and then seen me looking disgusted so she would think I'm awesome and but her mouth on my crotch.

(Additional legal image I just always laughed at but can't use now.)

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