Things I Have Thought Up In the Shower

YEAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!



Things I Have Thought Up In the Shower

• How to say, "I'm sorry, I'm a stupid American. Do you speak English?" In Italian, French and Japanese. Note: I actually speak only the most rudimentary Spanish.
• A method of instantaneous, superluminal telecommunication over astronomical distances utilizing quantum computing and a binary language of stable entangled particles.
• The speed of light squared
• The energy that would be released if I were instantly converted from matter
• An end to Donnie Darko that reconciles free will with predetermination
• How The Sarah Connor Chronicles broke Terminator time.

And now a fun nerd addition to the list:

• What would happen if a human being was struck by a single particle of anti-matter?

For the sake of the argument, I'm assuming the antimatter is a positron (anti-electron). This is a few thousand times smaller than an anti-proton but has an equivalent inverse electrical charge, and is far easier to propel along the track of a particle accelerator. If you want to go the antiproton route just multiply (m) by like 1800 before you start. Just know you'd be a horrible mad scientist.

Anyway, I wanna know if I should be dumping my corpses inside the LHC at CERN. I mean do they really check inside a lot? Could I just drop bodies down an access hatch and let science nerds annihilate the evidence?

Well let's see.

Einstein's energy/mass conversion equation is fairly simple: E=mc².

In this case we're assuming a positron of mass (9.1093821545•10^-31)kg is impacting SOMETHING IN A CORPSE, but that something can really only be one particle, and that particle must be composed of ordinary matter. Additionally, in annihilating itself and the particle it hits, the positron can only release the energy of its own mass and an equal mass of ordinary matter, so an electron.

So E= [(2 particles)(9.1093821545•10^-31)kg][(the speed of light)²]. The speed of light, in metters/second, is 299792458

Do a little reducing and we have:

E=(1.82187643090•10^-30)(8.987551787•10¹⁶) kg•m²/s²

After more math we find the energy release would be: 1.63742088•10^-13 Joules (or Wattseconds).

This is equal to about 163.7 femtojoules, which to put in perspective is a 6.82•10^-25 Megaton blast, or (averaged) 4.4•10^-25 Hiroshima atomic blasts.

That is 44 nonillionths of a Hiroshima bomb. ⁴⁴/1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.


So no. No, it would not be a good idea to use the Large Hadron Collider as a bodydump.