To be honest, I never really enjoyed the 4th of July very much.
I'm not sure if it's because I'm not patriotic or if it's because I just hate seeing my family. All I know is the food is good, but like the company, beer and fireworks are always let-downs.
Considering I feel the same way about Christmas and Thanksgiving, I'm going to blame my horrible family of drop-outs, alcoholics, closeted homosexuals and unwed teenage mothers. (Love you guys.)
Happy 234th birthday, United States. Thanks for providing me a country where I have the freedom to sit around all day and think about how poorly the government runs things, brooding contempt for the truly hypocritical, un-American logic-hierarchy that is a military which I refuse to join because I've been bred by the same system to be better than that.
Go positive-feedback loops.
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