Saturday, April 21, 2012

On Pregnancy

I saw a pregnant woman today and, for the first time, I considered the notion of a baby:

Just this horrible, translucent, tailed parasite swimming around inside you, gorging itself on the sustenance you provide, waiting to burst forth from your stomach like a xenomorph facehugger and rely on me for the rest of my life to support it.

This is the most disgusting thing I can
imagine, right now. I'd rather see gore
or actually watch a Ridley Scott
Alien
movie than think of this.
I gagged a little.

All this tells me two things. First, that I should absolutely not become a father any time soon, as I obviously have a pretty warped perspective on the miracle that is biological reproduction.

Two: when I do make the mistake of/am wonderfully blessed by having children, I'm going to be a pretty fun dad to play house with.

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