Thursday, October 8, 2009

Of Health and Well Being, Part II

So I got my genitals fondled by an old man today. An old man who has fondled both my father and grandfather. Awkward.

So yeah, got my physical. If I'm not perfectly healthy, my blood pressure is a little high which is normal for my family. Of course I wanted to placate my doctor's fears so when he went to retake my BP at the end of the check-up I consciously lowered my heart rate to around 70 BPM and dropped my pressure a good 10 points for both systolic and diastolic.

Did I not mention I moonlight as an Indian yogi? I'm fairly certain I mentioned I moonlight as an Indian yogi.

Anyway, yes, my biggest decision today was whether it was more important to leave things be and get a positively certain check-up or masturbate and reduce the chance of autonomic response at the frenzied testicular examination of a sexagenarian geriatric specialist.

For the record, I closed my eyes and thought of England. Somehow that was an excellent erectile dysfunctor.

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