On Insomniatic Nielsen Ratings

Based on my 24-hour T.V. watching schedule I've uncovered several facts of life that must go by and large unnoticed by the population.

• Poor white trash people watch "their stories" about fake people who can't act
  
• Middle class people watch "programs" about wealthy "reality" personae who also can't act
• Based on daytime talk and shows like Cheaters or Cops, middle class people also watch reality shows about poor people who can't act
• Rich people only watch shows they appear on
  
• White people love T.V. shows about white people making food from places we conquered
• Black people like anything with purple lights and bumping bass. Also, Smart Guy and Moesha
  
• Actually, everybody likes Smart Guy and Moesha
• But for some reason nobody likes The Steve Harvey Show
• Chinese and Korean kids hate Japanese cartoons
• Japanese kids laugh because they know they're going to write shows that are animated in Chinese/Korean forced labor art studios
• Law & Order will not end until Sam Waterson dies on camera
  
• Any line in Seinfeld can be read by any other character and still make sense
• Joss Whedon will never have another successful show
• Seth McFarlane can get away with anything unless he gets arrested on drug and assault charges in the near future
• The Simpsons ended in 2002 and if anyone disagrees you should plug your fingers in your ears and shout LALALALALALALALA as loud as you can.
• If you're in a place in your life where you routinely stay awake through multiple hours of PAID PROGRAMMING informercials, you've fallen into the demographic of people who just may purchase their products.
  
• Japanese game shows are the scariest physical trials you can imagine