Wednesday, December 15, 2010

On Bumper Stickers II: The Bumpening

Two more ripe gems yesterday morning. First up: abortion.

Alright, you're pro-life. I can respect that and, from that perspective, I guess this makes a certain kind of sense. Your people tend to like shock value in your personal belief advertisements which you force on others. Fine.

On the same car: "OBAMA" bumper sticker.

Really? Are you both pro-life and democrat? I mean, I guess it's possible, but that's still not something a person usually sees. Especially since a pro-life democrat isn't likely to be the type to shout such beliefs from their exhaust pipe. More likely, they'd politely mention it while adding that it is their personal belief but they also respect others' opinions. Perhaps it'd make more semse if I got close enough to read the fine print:

Theeeeeeeere we go. Okay. Now we're being consistent. Let the opining begin.


  1. I will hand you a petri dish. Please show me where in that dish I can find a human being.

  2. I would be shocked if anyone sporting this first sticker had the technical capacity to show me the difference between artificially combined freeze-dried gametes on a microscope slide and a skin sample randomly taken from my left index finger. Or anything under a microscope, really.
  3. … You're aware that in order to be impeached an elected official has to have done something illegal, right?
  4. And oh, good, that's a hammer and sickle inside the Acorn symbol. I was afraid we weren't going to compare government regulation of failing, abusive industries to the political ideologies of fascists better utilized as villains in an Indiana Jones feature. Thank the sweet Christian God for that.
Let's be honest about this. You obviously have no idea how biology, social services, communism, capitalism, fascism or representative democracy actually work. As a matter of fact, I'm surprised you find yourself capable of making your car go vroom in the mornings. (And frankly, I am unimpressed with your ability to achieve that much.)

So you know what, I'm glad you have these bumper stickers on your car. At the very least, it warns everybody around you not to listen to a goddam word you say.

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