Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Got Game? A Mathematical Analysis

I declare a ceasefire in my War on Christmas–unlike General Washington–to share the following story with you.


I've never understood the concept of having "Game." I get the concept, but I have to take it on faith that I or anyone else has Game. I'm told other people have Game, and I generally believe it. I'm told I have Game, and that's probably the biggest cause of my doubts that Game is a thing in the first place. Perhaps it's all been a ruse this whole time.

It seems unquantifiable. Qualitatively, I can say that Game may in fact be present within an individual. You have it or you don't. Yet you could have Good Game or Bad Game, or Sick Game, or even Mad Game, which in some contents might actually imply a plural of Games, but a single large value might be more reasonable.

But can you have 1.67 times better Game than Bob down the street? Couldst we construct a gameometer?

What is the measure of a man if not his game?

My best guess:

That's one-half the average radius of his testicle, multiplied by (n+1) where n equals his number of popped collars.

Currently, sitting alone in bed with a space heater, watching Tosh.0, my measure is about .75.

That seems about right.

Chuck Norris' man rating is an imaginary number
only Chuck Norris has ever successfully imagined.

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