Sunday, September 12, 2010

On Sheer Idiocy

So there are miners trapped underground in Chile. It's going to be months to get them out.

Today, officials told them they could have cigarettes.


Wat?

You're trapped underground in a dank confined space. Do you really think it's a good idea to smoke up? Really?

No, not really. Actually some "science people" (I don't want to call them "scientists" just yet) said they had cleared the air vents enough and gotten enough air pumped in from above-ground to allow the miners to have cigarettes.

Still. This is just stupid. I'm sure no canary survived the massive cave-in. Sparking your Zippo would be a real fast way to test for gas leaks down there.

Well, on the other hand, if there is a gas leak, it's not like they can go anywhere to avoid it. And frankly, if I were trapped underground for weeks with escape a distant possibility, I'd probably be dying for a smoke too. So what are we taking, like a pack-a-smoker, here?

Two packs for 33 people.

Seriously? Jesus, now that you've determined it's safe to smoke and I've agreed they could use it, you're giving them a smoke a day with some loosies to fight over? That's cold, brah.

But I guess it's better than nothing. They've been getting sent gum and nicotine patches for the last couple weeks. I don't wanna see what a nicotine fit looks like a half-mile underground trapped in the dark.

Well, I wouldn't see it, but the noises would be terrifying.

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