Thursday, May 17, 2012

Rejected Transsexual Transformer Photos

Being the nerd I am, I had a 20th Anniversary collector's edition Optimus Prime just lying around, so I set out to post some kind of "Does this mysteriously appearing trailor make my ass look big?" or at least a "All this energon is going to go straight to my servomotors!" joke. You know, something base and stereotypically gayish to juxtapose the seriousness of the discussion.

Well, it all just ended up one horrifyingly offensive photoshoot. Honestly, I'm a little surprised it didn't end with me smoking a cigarette on the casting couch and Optimus sobbing quietly into his unmarked bills and a rumpled sports bra in the lobby as I called him a cab.

Anyway, there were some pretty insensitive images of Optimus Prime even I thought were in bad taste. So here they are!

"Oh, you!"The coquettish legs were hard at first, but then I just couldn't get his wrist to bend without looking
just terribly limp. Sultry Jessica Rabbit poses were also impossible.

"Strike a pose!"
Jazz hands and spirit fingers were both unachievable, but worse yet one of his wrists was
loose and a limited range of motion nullified Prime's ability to properly 'Vogue.'

"Whatever. You know I look good."
Actually, this one was too heteronormative. Just looks like a very diesel Ambercrombie ad.

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