Sunday, December 13, 2009

Of Asian Women

Notice I didn't say "On Asian Women."

Honestly I can't believe I haven't discussed this here yet, but that's the beauty of 6 a.m. epiphanies.

To begin: Asian women are very attractive. This is indisputable. Many women are very attractive, from every ethnic grouping and of every nationality, and many in very different and often exotic ways. There are also very unattractive Asian women, just as there are old shriveled grannies in every other demographic.

However Asian women have something special that entitles them to more than just the average lusting. A young, nubile Asian girl can, on the standard 1-to-10 Male Bias Scale, rate a solid 6, when in fact her American counterpart might rate a 5 or even a 4.

How is this possible?

One possibility is that Mongoloid bone structure and traditionally held ideals of beauty among people of Asiatic descent have, through natural selection and what is essentially eugenics among the more noble classes throughout history, genetically cultivated a predisposition for high cheekbones, small noses, oval faces, straight dark hair, shorter stature and clear, glowing skin that would appear "tan" to those with a Caucasian bias. Similarly, Caucasians might find Asian women to be "smiling with their eyes" as resultant from the further anterior position of the lateral orbital rim and the extra layer of fatty tissue separating the skin of the eyelid from the muscles and tarsus, a feature which might actually be an adaptive trait related to vision on the Asian Steppes. The fact that most traditional Asian cultures are extremely male dominated has resulted in a mindset for "classy" women to be demure, servile figures who retain honor and humility, which incidentally has also spawned a tremendously repressed and hypersexualized sex trade throughout most of Asia.

Another solution could be that it is a natural result of something I've talked about previously in On Post-Colonial Theory and Colonialism By LEGO, that being the fetishization of The Other as something exotic, an identification of people from the Orient as being either opposed to Western culture or a curiosity to be studied from a distance, thus yielding biased conclusions which further subvert true cultural understanding and equality, in this instance literally yielding commodification of sensuality in a Sex Industry which is based in fetishizing everything.


Or, we could say it's the metric system, guys.

So the way to calibrate the Male Bias Scale (or MBS) is pretty relative, depending much on the individual male in question: what his ethnicity is, how racistly he was raised, the local diversity and whether he is currently dating anyone, her ethnicity and if she is standing next to him right then.

For example, as an American, if I were to see a hot girl, say a 7, I would think she was a 7. However because Asian girls are hotter to me, I would see an Asian 7 and being roughly equivalent to an American 8.5. The basic MBS metric conversion for American-to-Asian is typically +1 to +2. Japanese and Koreans frequently lead the pack on average, though the absolute most attractive women are in all cases skewed completely away from any calibrated norm.

Interestingly, Asian men are around Asian women so constantly that there is a bit of a fetishization of American women, chiefly as the stereotype seems to be all our women are farm-raised, corn-fed buxom blond whores in cowboy hats, which sounds really great on average but, again, if you had to live with them, annoyances do tend to creep up.

What I find fascinating is that the Metric Conversion does not truthfully carry into other cultures which happen to use metric measurements elsewhere.

Case in point: Asian girls are a +1 to +2, while Australian girls average a +1, due to their propensity for athleticism, tans, adorable accents and outgoing, adventurous personalities. This conversion factor is almost solely personality-based, as Australians are essentially the British, who typically convert with a -1. More if they open their mouths, even more if they open their mouths to talk. It makes you wonder how the British could improve if only they got some sun.

One should also note that these conversion methods are accurate in most cases, but are only approximation based on the fact that Special Relativistic Hotness equations are far more complicated than need be for daily computational copulation. For True Count hotness one must account for the Observer, she he is observing, their physical distance, the rate at which they are passing, her ethnicity processed through his ethnic biases and personal experience, and the fact that 99% of "Perfect 10s" are celebrities who have had work done. (While it is possible to encounter a Natural 10, her personality must be weighted in this as well, as such in standard practice a 10 ranking should be reserved exclusively for famous women, thus making the idea woman a smart and funny, kind Natural 9.)

A completed SRH equation would follow this form:

P + O•Vo ± Mc
X = d•t Eb+ e

where P = Personality, O = Observer's reasonable mating potential measured in "Leagues," Vo = the Observer's Velocity, Mc = the Metric Conversion, d = Distance, t = Time elapsed in the observation, Eb = Ethnic Bias and e = experience.

No comments :

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.