Tuesday, December 1, 2009

On Domestication

I have perfected the art of making the perfect sandwich. It involves mayonnaise on both slices of whole wheat bread, but spicy brown mustard only on the top piece. Lettuce is beneath the meat, while tomato and cheese, preferably Swiss or American, above. Sliced meats should be rolled before placement, hunks of meat can simply be arranged for best coverage. Serve with a crunchy kosher dill pickle and your preferred flavor of potato chip. A glass of iced tea to wash it down with is lovely.

Now all I need is to have sex with someone who doesn't respect me and I'd make the perfect woman.

(Get it. It's because I spend lots of time in the kitchen making sandwiches, which is typically viewed as an acme of feminine gender-performance in Western cultures. More so if you spell it "sammich.")

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