On Changes

Back in high school I was pretty much the only kid with significant facial hair. I was short, scrawny and for the most part just way too smart for my own good. But now everything's changed.

Everything but me, I mean.

Now everyone I knew back in high school is older, fatter, more out of shape and fully cognizant of how stupid they used to be.

I, meanwhile, am in the best shape of my life and have the wonderfully downplayed smugness of vindication years after the fact.

I'm actually planning on getting old and fat now, mostly because I'll know that everyone I know will just look older and fatter and I'm gonna have the pick of the retirement home hotties.