Friday, August 27, 2010

On Tampons

Kotex has a commercial out where an attractive woman asks men off the street to go into a store and buy her tampons while she watches her bike. The men, understandably, try to worm out of this task.

I say "understandably" because the premise of the commercial is faulty. Ostensibly, the point is 'Men will not buy tampons, even for a pretty lady.' However, this neglects the convention that men only do that sparingly, for women they love greatly or by whom they have been utterly soul-crushed.

Additionally, this ignores the very simple fact that most of the men are probably wondering, "Hey, why is this hot chick asking me to buy things for her vagina? More importantly, why isn't she asking me to just watch her bike? Is it worth more than tampons? Are tampons expensive? More than a bike? Why can't she just buy a bike chain? Are those expensive?"

Meanwhile, at least half the men probably think they're on camera, and at least one in four has realized that if she's telling the truth about needing tampons then they are not going to get to sleep with her and there is little sense in doing her any favors. I mean I guess maybe you'll get a handy or something out of it, but this is a menstruating woman. Don't you want to just keep her happy until you can run away?

Now if she was like, "Hey, can you do me a favor and buy tampons for my ugly, autistic cousin while I watch her. I'm infertile, by the way, and you're really cute," then maybe we'd have a true test of wills here.

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