Friday, January 27, 2012

Lutishia Lovely and Kensington Press | A worse blow to black culture than Coco Marrow

Today is the third anniversary of The Sound A Doggy Makes! HOLY YES!

Since I'm spending all of my wondrous advertising pennies lying out on some tropical beach (obviously), in lieu of an actual post today, I am simply going to post the actual cover blurb to Heaven Forbid, a novel of black stereotypes by the frightenly not-pseudonymous "Lutisha Lovely," the literary equivalent of the fourth sequel in a Tyler Perry franchise. These books are so cheap the publishers will not even accept them as returns from bookstores if unsold; they simply get torn apart and thrown out.

In their defense, Kensington actually isn't the party
responsible for this nightmare. That would be
Dafina. Kensington's sadly bad too, though.
Still reeling from the disgrace their former pastor left in his wake, members of Gospel Truth Church need someone who can restore order. Enter Reverend Doctor Pastor Bishop Overseer Mister Stanley Obadiah Meshach Brook, Jr., who quickly sets up a code of ethics so strict even Jesus might not pass muster! When the new rules send much of the flock fleeing, Reverend Doctor O turns to Reverend Stanley Lee and his wife, Passion, to lead a revival. 

But the church isn't the only thing that needs reviving—so does Stanley's libido. Passion was celibate for five years before marrying, and is not happy that her husband's lackluster wedding night performance has become the rule, not the exception. Desperate to make her marriage work, Passion turns to Reverend Doctor O's wife, Maxine, for advice. But Maxine is busy trying to clean out the skeletons in her own marital closet—because even the holiest have secrets…

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