The Fifth Roommate

"Aw, you got me a career choice that isn't
sad or shameful! How Sweet!"

There are four friends. One starts dating a new person. This person is now the "fifth roommate." I'm stealing this phrasing from The New Girl, but I'm certain the idea is comparatively ancient.

There's something to be said both for loving and despising a friend's partner. Loving them means you've got a kickass new friend. Hating them means you don't have to worry about picking sides if there's a break-up; your loyalties are and always have been perfectly clear.

Of course, liking them means that in the eventuality of a break-up, you've got to choose sides or risk removing yourself from both individuals' companies enough to not fully alienate both. This accomplishes pretty much the opposite of its own goal.

I've tried all those options. Personally, I like hating on the sig-oths. It makes everything very easy considering most of my friends weren't in even remotely permanent-looking relationships until a few years ago. It was just generally understood that you'd eventually stop dating the other person, either amiably or viciously. Now everything's complicated by babies and tax breaks.

Worse, now life is complicated by actively enjoying the company of my friends' boyfriends and girlfriends. I would willingly seek to hang out with them on my own.

And, somehow, I feel like this is still better than safely hating and spreading negativity before, during, or after any relationship. Simplicity is wonderful for happy things, reductive for the negatives.