On Piracy (The Real Kind, Not The Fun Kind)

Let's just let the RIAA sue any Somalians who steal from us.
I'm sure that'll be incredibly effective.

So apparently, when you board an American commercial vessel, hold the crew hostage and try to steal all their stuff, we kill your crew and try the lone survivor for piracy. That's a pretty straight-forward, sensical system, I'd say.

Well, apparently, when you try and convict him, you place him in American prison for 33 years.

Yes, he turned to a life of gang-based violence in order to escape the crippling destitution and starvation rampant in his nation. And as punishment for that, we're paying to lock him in a gang-based, violent compound where there is no money but free food and medical treatment.

Man, taking an American hostage is like the Somalian Pirate fucking retirement package. I mean, if you survive and all.