Sunday, April 3, 2011

The Baby Bullet

Let's give it up for an other stroke of advertising genius. Full disclosure: I've used the Magic Bullet blender before. Despite sharing it's name with a sex toy it's a pretty good smoothie maker. Sure, the spinny part always grates little pieces of black plastic off the underside of the food canisters, but what do you really expect from an $20 blender?

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the newest version of the "Magic Bullet" blender, one dedicated specially to providing infomercial junkies with the best, freshest available infant nutrition: "The Baby Bullet."

Yeah, you really don't have to click that if you don't feel like it. I mean go ahead if you want, it's actually a pretty straight-forward, sensible solution to feeding your kids good meals on a budget. My own mother did something roughly the same using whatever meal the adults were eating and an ordinary household grinder. But really, it's enough just to see the thing. Maybe watch a few seconds of it. Just to see it in action.

It's little smiley face glaring at you as you grotesquely puree the head canister's yummy little brains, the gentle swirl of a colorful vortex. The gray matter certainly isn't so gray.

But let's look at this from a much simpler standpoint. This is a Baby. Bullet. A bullet for babies. Bullets shoot things. Come on. Just- just come on. Please? Worse, it's The Original Baby Bullet. There will be imitators.

I get it, you're a version of the Magic Bullet just for baby use. Use for babies. Not by babies. That'd just be crazy.

This is a clear case of branding going one step beyond reasonableness.

Hopefully, there's a lawsuit somewhere in all of this.

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