An Open Letter to Heroes

Dear Heroes,


I know we don't appreciate you enough, but this time of year, I feel compelled to, if only due to my great experience as one of you.

Black Friday was hell, but we all know it's only going to be a slight dip between now and Valentine's Day. Fellow Retail Workers, it's not your fault. You didn't ask for this burden, I know, but you took the responsibility in return for only minimal salary and the right to bitch about any customer as soon as they are out of earshot.

It's already Holiday Season now, which will lead straight into the Holiday Return Period, and then maybe we'll have a modest few weeks before Valentine's. After that we can relax a little before Mother's Day and Father's Day start up, but right now we're in fiscal hell quarter.

I wish you all luck, my sisters and brothers.

May your sleep schedules remain modest, and may your friends not call panicked and wondering if you've legitimately been killed or otherwise detained from life.

Ever since his sobriety and the cancellation of JACKASS,
Steve-O has been searching for something to fill the hole in his life.
It turns out that thing was vests.