Thursday, June 14, 2012

One Direction Has Chlamydia

There will always be boy bands, so long as there are boys and there are bands, and girls to listen to boys in bands. This is incontrovertible.

One Direction is a suddenly popular boy band after winning X-Factor. I'm assuming British Original, and not American Version or X-Men spin-off series. Mostly because the blond one doesn't shoot ice out of his hands when he sneezes.

One Direction is apparently also infected with chlamydia.

Well, maybe. Two of its members got urinated on by a female koala while doing some Southern Hemisphere public relations work. And as it turns out, more than 50% of koalas tend to be infected with the STI chlamydia. The human one, in fact. It's not like Feline AIDS where your cat has to take AZT but you're safe. No, this is the same chlamydia I A GUY I MAY HAVE KNOWN ONCE SOMEWHERE picked up that one time. And now they're scared.

So, 1) at least one member of this band skipped out on Health Class the days they talked about easily treatable V.D.

Also, 2) Koalas are all a bunch of dirty, dirty whores.

"Hey, Joe! Sucky-sucky fie dollah!…mate."

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