Jay Leno Facts

To commemorate the final episode of The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien while I'm out finally seeing "Avatar" I bring you this thing, all spun out of control after Chris tweeted, "When Jay Leno isn't wearing a suit he wears a denim shirt … please explain why this man is appealing…." Thanks, Chris.

• When Jay Leno is not hosting The Tonight Show, he is hosting The Tonight Show.
  
  
• When Jay Leno is not physically in New York, his chin still is.
  
  
• When Jay Leno isn't beating Conan in the ratings, he is beating a dead horse to death.
  
  
• When Jay Leno isn't stepping all over a punchline, he's walking all over Johnny Carson's grave.
  
  
• When Jay Leno isn't gobbling NBC knob, that's what Kevin Eubanks is for.
  
  
• When Jay Leno is gobbling NBC knob, Kevin Eubanks is tickling the balls.
  
  
• When Jay Leno is reading this, he is a very nice man who was put in a terrible position by a network that sacrifices forethought and loyalty for short-term profitability.