Thursday, May 26, 2011

You Are What You Eat

Who the hell designed this toy? Is it a toy? Or is it a subtle encouragement to children to engage in either taxidermy and/or cannibalism?

Yes, that is a stuffed polar bear with a clear plastic belly, zippered shut to enclose the small, plastic animals the bear presumably ate.

You know, animals a bear might have eaten in the arctic. For example, a seal. Or (parts of) a whale.

Or, yeah, a smaller polar bear.

Obviously, such a vicious, and evidently enormous, creature must be dealt with and dealt with harshly. This explains his draconian retail position. Not since the Inquisition was the rack deemed an appropriate mode of punishment, not until the Mega Bear, that is.

Mega Bear: Totally Had It Coming.

…In 3D.

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