The Gospel According to Lady Gaga

What the fook do ya need a dog-penis gun for?! Okay, Rambo.

I did a Second-By-Second Breakdown of "Bad Romance" about a year and a half ago and I'm not intending to go back to that any time soon. Nor do I plan on a long rant as I did when "Telephone" Was Blasted As Child Poison.

All I'm going to point out here is that Jesus is Rick Gonzalez, the dorky best friend from defunct sitcom "Reaper," while Judas is none other than Boondock Saint Murphy MacManus and The Walking Dead's most hold-me-back fan favorite Daryl, Norman Flipping Reedus.

NORMAN. REEDUS.

He's the Boondock Saint who isn't confused for Colin Ferrell. And Jesus is the Hispanic kid from Old School?

Yeah, I'd probably go with Gaga on this one. Judas is way more badass, though I suppose it must take a lot of courage and skull-breaking for a young Dominican boy to take over control of a predominantly white, redneck biker gang in what appears to be the American Southwest. He must get a lot of Mexican jokes.

But then again, I suppose he just turns the other cheek.