Tiny Wings: The End of Your Life

I am inches away from beating a Z-list cable celebrity's all-time Tiny Wings score. And it's killing me.

A spent the last hour playing the game. In that time, I must have played a score of games, more if you include all the ones I immediately restarted for missing the first jumps due to cat-jumping-on-chest, and downright being fed up. I was on the final ramp to that sweet, sweet, mysterious ninth island when the dark finally crept up on me. I was enraged. Cursing was had. Loudly. At 3 a.m.

Twenty some-odd games in 60 minutes. That's about one every three minutes, but like I said, many of them were seconds long. Do you know how long that is in bird time? Like forever. It's ridiculous to say, but I spend almost zero time touching the ground. My tiny winged bird is flying all up in that sky and I am the man. I'm topping out over 203K tonight. So far, that's beating the producer of the Z-list cable celebrity.

But I'm getting close, Kevin Pereira. You said you retired at 220K, well I'm coming for you. I'm on my tenth nest and I can taste that ninth island and the tender objective getting there will complete. I'm pretty sure before my next nest I am going to destroy you. And then I can finally sleep the sleep of a man who has nothing left to gain.

Except the latest levels of Angry Birds.